14 “Vacations” Parents Take Every Day

Going to the supermarket without your kids feels like a week in Jamaica.

1. When you’re the first person in your family to wake up.

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Those eight minutes before your kids come barreling into the kitchen asking for breakfast are yours and yours alone!

2. Pumping gas.

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The 90 seconds when your kids are inside the car and you’re outside of it offer a wonderful chance to unwind. Take a deep breath (but not too deep because, you know, gas) and let your troubles fade away.

3. Being on hold with the bank.

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Your kids generally know to leave you alone when you’re on the phone, so sit back, relax, and enjoy the feedback-y version of “Waterfalls.”

4. Waiting in line without your kids.

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That long line at the pharmacy is a welcome respite from the world if your kids are at home with someone else. Enjoy the piped-in ’90s soft rock as it drowns out the persistent cough of the guy behind you!

5. When your kid thinks they’re in trouble.

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Your chaotic home will be transformed into a center of relaxation as your suddenly quiet kid tip-toes around you!

6. Nap time.

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The moment your baby falls asleep feels as freeing as dipping your feet into the water at Waikiki Beach. Just don’t get trapped under your baby or your entire mini-vacation will happen in the same place!

7. The six minutes after your kid opens a new toy.

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Those precious moments before your kid tosses the toy aside and demands your attention are yours to enjoy any way you wish! Get creative!

8. When a new episode of your kids’ favorite show is on.

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For the next half hour you’ll feel as if you’re in a Parisian cafe as you drink coffee and surf the web. You might even try to read a few pages of a book!

9. Going to the bathroom.

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Granted, most trips to the bathroom are punctuated by visits from your kids asking for a snack, but in those rare occurrences you’re left alone this is 100% “me time!”

10. When your kid goes to to the bathroom.

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This is a glorious opportunity to take care of yourself, but be forewarned: The mini-vacation can end abruptly when your kid yells, “Mommy/Daddy! I need help!”

11. A trip to the supermarket without your kids.

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Casually strolling the aisles without once having to yell, “PUT THAT BACK!” is nearly as relaxing as a spa day in Napa Valley. Treat yourself to a free sample!

12. When your kid thinks they’re getting away with something.

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You know they’re playing on your iPad after you said it was off-limits, but they’re doing it so quietly that you don’t care. Enjoy the tranquility!

13. Getting the mail.

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Once the front door closes behind you you’ve got 15 child-free steps to the mailbox to enjoy! And then — bonus — 15 more steps back inside!

14. After your kids have gone to sleep.

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Assuming you don’t have to spend this time doing all the stuff you couldn’t get done during the day because your kids were all up in your business, you can kick back like you’re riding a gondola through the Venice canals! Rejoice!

Read more: http://www.buzzfeed.com/mikespohr/14-vacations-parents-take-every-day

ABC News’ chief medical editor declares NYC doctor with Ebola a ‘hero’

Let’s just say that NBC News’ chief medical editor Nancy Snyderman didn’t do much for our confidence in TV doctors when she broke self-quarantine for Ebola to go to a restaurant to pick up a takeout order. Tonight, ABC News’ chief medical editor is weighing in on the case of a doctor in New York City who has tested positive for Ebola, and his professional medical opinion is that Doctors Without Borders physician Dr. Craig Spencer is a hero.

Yes, he was isolated: except for when he was on the subway and at a bowling alley and in a cab — two days after reportedly feeling “sluggish.”

We’ll remind CNN’s chief national security correspondent Jim Sciutto that it’s OK for a journalist to ask questions.

Related:

It takes just 4 little letters for this singer to sum up news of Ebola-positive doctor

‘Can’t make this up!’ Guess where Ebola-positive NYC doctor may have gone bowling; Alley closed?

Andrea Mitchell: Don’t worry about Ebola patient who traipsed all over NYC last night

NYC doctor who went to a bowling alley last night has tested positive for Ebola

 

Read more: http://twitchy.com/2014/10/23/abc-news-chief-medical-editor-declares-new-york-city-doctor-with-ebola-a-hero/

IRS agents to slip on rubber gloves, lab coats to enforce Obamacare tax?

Yes. Or maybe they can at least buy us all dinner first!

On the heels of the decision that the Obamacare mandate is really a “tax,” Twitter users wonder what this means: Will their doctors be replaced by Mr. Tax Man? Naturally, this tax that isn’t a tax according to the Obama administration (words are hard) conveniently already sparked the addition of thousands of IRS employees to the government payroll.

Again, Obamacare has budget for 16K new IRS agents to enforce the law and nobody thought it was a tax?!?

— D. Dextra (@DollyDextra) June 29, 2012

https://twitter.com/RealCinders2/status/218754020926423040

@RedOctober7 @micflo18 Now that it was magically pulled a tax, it can be enforced through the IRS. 16,000 IRS agents have already been hired

— david smith (@petlessons) June 29, 2012

Thousands of new IRS agents are getting their wings today

— Katie Pavlich (@KatiePavlich) June 28, 2012

What will these new health care decision makers and enforcers do?

Will the IRS agents who come for your ObamaCare tax be wearing scrubs and masks? That would enhance their effectiveness, because creepy.

— John Hayward (@Doc_0) June 29, 2012

Super creepy! Kind of like the Stepford Doctors who were handed out lab coats in the Rose Garden. Welcome your new health care overlords.

After all, you don't want the IRS to come visiting, do you? MT @BarackObama: Say you're standing with President Obama on health care

— Rschrim (@Rschrim) June 29, 2012

When I was diagnosed w/cancer I was told my oncologist wld be my closest friend – know one said the IRS wld be my friend too!!! #tax #tcot

— Michael (@pfloyd325) June 29, 2012

How will the IRS enforce this health insurance tax on people who currently don't file tax returns?

— Jim Jamitis (@anthropocon) June 29, 2012

4500 new IRS agents…….ready to hunt you down…confiscate your bank account put a lien on your property….if you don't buy Obamascam

— f396 (@f396) June 29, 2012

Will IRS agents get training in how to give vaccines? #ObamaTAX

— Legal Immigrant (@votermom) June 29, 2012

It's like a big hug, delivered by the IRS. RT @davidharsanyi: you mean shared responsibility payment penalty

— John Hayward (@Doc_0) June 29, 2012

So will the IRS agents be signing me in at my doctors office? Taking my medical insurance card, payments?

— Jerry (@Durango24k) June 29, 2012

Obamacare: Doctors don't make house calls anymore but IRS Agents can't wait to make a visit.

— Cynthia Heath (@CynthiaCHeath) June 29, 2012

More power for the ever-popular, and now medical expert, Internal Revenue Service?

Exclusive: IRS officials tell FBN the Supreme Court health-care ruling gives the IRS more power than initially thought. http://t.co/S3K7T9Gl

— FOX Business (@FoxBusiness) June 29, 2012

@MarkSteynOnline: "Only in America does "health" "care" "reform" begin with the hiring of 16,500 new IRS agents" http://t.co/Z0kt2bsS

— Justin Hart (@justin_hart) June 29, 2012

The genius Mark Steyn sums it up best.

Indeed, citizens of many Continental countries now have more – what’s the word? – liberty in matters of health care than Americans. That’s to say, they have genuinely universal government systems alongside genuinely private-system alternatives. Only in America does “health” “care” “reform” begin with the hiring of 16,500 new IRS agents tasked with determining whether your insurance policy merits a fine. It is the perverse genius of Obamacare that it will kill off what’s left of a truly private health sector without leading to a truly universal system. However, it will be catastrophically unaffordable, hideously bureaucratic, and ever more coercive. So what’s not to like?

To give Chief Justice Roberts’ argument more credit than it deserves, governments use taxes as a form of incentive. There is mortgage-tax relief because the state feels homeownership is generally a good thing. Conversely, not buying health insurance is a bad thing, so such antisocial behavior should be liable to a kind of antisocial tax. But, as presently constituted, the Supreme Court’s new “tax” is a steal – $695 is cheaper than most annual health insurance policies. Especially when, under Obamacare, you’re allowed to wait till you get ill to take out health insurance, and you can’t be turned down. Which is why the cost of insurance is already rising, and will rise higher still down the road.

Bingo. But, hey, “shovel-ready” jobs for IRS agents.

Obamacare creating jobs. IRS will hire 4000+ agents to enforce the dang thing. But don't worry folks that will only affect taxpayers

— tom bononno (@tomjbo) June 29, 2012

So we can't now have our own plans? What kind of Maddof scheme are the Feds making us buy? IRS penalizing for non payment or incorrect plan?

— Carmen G Pastor (@cgpb) June 29, 2012

“If you like your plan, you can keep your plan.” If the Tax Man says so, that is.

Fortunately for Obama, the IRS is really, really popular, so people will welcome its involvement in health insurance.

— Dan McLaughlin (@baseballcrank) June 28, 2012

So, there’s that. All hail unintended consequences?

Read more: http://twitchy.com/2012/06/29/irs-agents-to-slip-on-rubber-gloves-lab-coats-to-enforce-obamacare-tax/